oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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