How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
