last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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