Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
