I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
