He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
