So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
