btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
