arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
