I accidentally had phone sex last night
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
