Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
