YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Semen is not good for contacts.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
