Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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