We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
