you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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