I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
