i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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