question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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