Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
