PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
