hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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