what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
