I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
