What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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