I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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