Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
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i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
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He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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