I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
