i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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