when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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