I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
