He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
