My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
