and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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