I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
