You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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