okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
