I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
