There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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