think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
