sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
