My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize