Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize