His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
