and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
