Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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