I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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