literally had 100 drinks last night.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
don't judge my taste in strippers
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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