im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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