How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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