I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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