Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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