she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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