I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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