hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
do herpes really smell.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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