THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i love accidental penises.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
