Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
