A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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