i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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