yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
