I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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