Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize