Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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