No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
