We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
