Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
